A weak moment

I just wanted to take a moment to share a weak moment I had earlier in the week. I woke up at 3am with a strong urge to drink vodka. Many of you aren't fully aware of my story as I will write about it in my life story but to fill some of you in, I would binge on vodka.....a day, maybe 2 or sometimes 3.

For the most part I have no urge or desire to drink. Like a thief in the night that devil had a strong hold on my thoughts. I have been exhausted from not sleeping and my job can be very physical (lifting 60 plus pounds for 8 hours straight) on certain shifts. The devil knew I was weak......

I woke up and had a strong urge to swig off the bottle, and the urge wasn't going away. I kept rebuking and praying. I actually started shaking thinking about it. I made a pot of coffee, read psalms, reviewed the 12 steps, nothing was relieving the desire to pick up.

 

Finally, that morning I texted 5 loved ones, asking for prayer, taking responsibility for my thoughts and needed some positive reinforcement to keep me strong and remind me how far I have come AND how much God has blessed me.

After I reached out, the desire left as quick as it came. I want to thank all of them that were there for me. I also want to thank Steve for telling me to stop, pick up and call him. I think out of everyone he knows my struggle the best and knows my addiction the best. He lived with it for a long time. He knows the dysfunction first hand and how horrible my life became first hand.

Even though I reached out to those that truly don't understand the addiction, which can make things a little hard, reaching out helps, no matter to whom it is. just releasing it, sharing it and not keeping it inside to fester and get the better of you, WORKS!

To my loved ones that have been there, I love each of you and thank you for keeping me strong and responsible for my actions!



xoxo